What I’ve Been Doing

Hello! Happy November.

I’ve been a little quiet here. Here’s what I’ve been doing:

I’m in the process of breaking up with my phone. Sounds ridiculous but I am. Staying up-to-date and alert of everything is exhausting (and hard on my eyes), not to mention the many things I miss when I’m staring at the screen. While I love dreaming and creating, I am having trouble with all the extra stuff. This blogging business requires quite a bit of marketing and I struggle with it. I am happy to read about others exploits and creative endeavors as well as scroll through the small glimpses they share with the world but I am conflicted when I do it for myself. It ends up feeling like a validation process to me. I take a fabulously framed shot of my children walking into the setting sun, their ruffled hair shining in the light, and then I wait for people to like it. Emotions soar or plunge all depending on number of people who like the image. It’s so silly! (said the super silly person).

So this last week, I went about my real life without telling everyone what I was up to, what I was making, what I was thinking. I baked cookies and a cake. I read animal books to my children. I took walks, ran errands, shuffled children to school and back and attended activities. We trick-or-treated with our homemade costumes and enjoyed an evening of laughing with friends. Instead of framing the best shot to share or brainstorming a new post, I tried to stay in the moment. I had a little withdrawal in the beginning, my fingers itching to check something else, but after a while, I felt the freedom and I liked it. I did things because I wanted to, either for my family or myself. I captured visual memories for my memory bank alone.

Blogging is my job and I am very thankful I get to do it. Really, I am. However, like other jobs, it can be draining. As I’ve said in a few other previous posts, this hasn’t been my year. Personal and professional struggles have pushed me to an uncomfortable place and I’ve spent a lot of time wondering and questioning my purpose and my direction (more time than my usual over thinking). I don’t have all the answers and honestly, I am confused as all get out. That being said, I have dreams and ideas for the next two months that I am excited to bring to life. I hate to say plans because those seem to bring on plan-busting events. (See, emergency appendectomy.) :)

Thanks for coming by my little place on the web. With the endless choices and things to see, I appreciate the time you spend here.